Written for a Contest - "Great Writers Steal":
STEAL from Billy Collins and use his prose-poem “Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House “ as inspiration for your own work

Write a free verse poem about something that has annoyed you. Use poetic devices such as repetition, assonance, consonance and internal rhyme to convey your frustration. Then, take an imaginative leap and end your poem in the world of the surreal. In the Collins poem, the dog still wins — but you can choose to be the winner in your own poem. Use plain everyday language and limit your entry to 25 lines or less.

I first wrote 6 stanzas for "I Know His Type" because hoons drove up our street, a not uncommon occurrence. Then went back to look at the contest conditions and found it too long, so cut out two of them. After the contest was judged, I published this, the extended, original version, (2 extra verses,) as well. If you want to see the original, there's a link below. 

In this version, I have used the phrase "pissed as a fish" deliberately, it's not the usual phrase, which is "pissed as a newt". But I wished to conflate that phrase with "drinks like a fish", so I thought this retained the flavour of both.