(In which Arthur first sees Guinevere and vows to love her forever. And how shortly thereafter has it off with his sister Morgause, King Lot’s wife, leaving her pregnant with Mordred (that worked out well); Of King Pellinor, last seen chasing the Questing Beast, excepting in 2 chapters time, he challenges every knight to joust or he won’t let them pass; and how he and Arthur fight, Merlin interferes just so he can meet the Lady of the Lake (Abbr. LOL) and picks up his new magic sword, EXCALIBUR, complete with sheath.)

In Camelot lived King Leodegrance
a knight in much need of deodorants.
When minstrels would play,
the smell caused all dismay
and maids would refuse him a dance.

Just who was his wife isn’t clear,
yet she mothered the sweet Guinevere.
Did she hold her nose
until he arose,
or did she then die and is buried here?

The word was that Rience of Wales
has an army with which he assails
Camelot and its castle
to make Leo his vassal
or kill him if everything fails.

So Arthur, King Bors and King Ban
ride off to the rescue again
with an army of ten
thousand strong men
and they beat Rience back to Rhuddlan.

After rescuing Guinevere, Artie
fell in love at first sight. In his heart he
wanted no other
to be his kids’ mother,
but we all know how he likes to party.

Sir Boris and Sir Ban returned home
and the dissidents left Art alone.
They had troubles enough,
and life was quite tough
with Saracens after each throne.

Still, Lot sent his wife, fair Morgause,
as a spy to promote his own cause.
But alas, the young king
developed a thing,
getting Morgause with child, just because...

this custom is called “droit de seigneur,”
and with Morgause, he done this and more.
She returned back to Lot,
who’d decidedly got
a bad deal in a future Merlin saw.

Soon Arthur was troubled by dreams,
then awoke, chased a hart, but it seems
when it died (no accounting)
he sat down by a fountain
where a Questing Beast drank (old-time memes.)

King Pellinor followed the beast,
but tarried. His horse was deceased.
King Art had a spare,
but full of despair,
Pelli stole it and cantered off east.

Next Merlin told Arthur Ygraine
was his Mum. Artie thought, “What a pain!
Since Morgause is my sister,
and much as I’ve missed her,
I’d better not do THAT again.

Sir Ulfius, Uther’s right hand
picked that moment in time to grandstand,
calling Ygraine a traitor,
and that he did hate her,
And he’d prove it to all in the land.

But Merlin helped sort out that fight,
so they feasted eight days and a night
until a young squire
asked them to retire,
for the path east was held by a Kinght!

The newly beknighted Sir Griflet
took a ride there to see if he was fit
to joust with the stranger,
that cat in a manger,
but he barely returned in one bit.

King Arthur waxed wroth (old time language)
and vowed he would not eat a sandwich
until he struck down
that Knight to the ground
with his sword and his patented “hand twitch.”

But the Knight unhorsed Arthur, and more,
broke his sword, which got Arthur real sore.
Next they fought on the ground,
man to man, pound for pound,
till he worked out he fought Pellinor.

This time, Merlin chose to intervene,
enchanting what well might have been
an end to this story,
a great loss to history,
(And Tom’s book would never be seen.)

“You need”, Merlin said, “a new sword,
and I’ve prearranged one for you, Lord.”
So they rode to a lake,
and make no mistake,
in the lake was an arm, looking bored.

The arm was all clothed in white samite,
weird enough to give Arthur a bad fright,
with a sword in its hand,
far away from the land,
and strangely, no body in plain sight.

Then the Lady appeared on her Lake,
and Arthur asked her could he take
the sword from the arm,
he promised no harm,
and was there any deal they could make?

The Lady made just one condition:
A gift, for which she would petition
from him sometime soon,
but not before noon,
and he must keep the sheath in position.

So the two returned home to Caerleon,
Pellinor never noticed that they’d gone.
I’ve only a bit
of this story to fit
in and finish this book early on.

The first was Rience sent a threat
to take Arthur’s beard, and he bet
he could do it,
but Arthur said “Screw it!
You’ll see I’m the better man yet!”

Knowing Mordred was born First of May,
Arthur tried hard to do him away.
All those that were born
on that day, he had sworn,
would be taken and killed, no delay.

But by fortune the ship ran aground
when nobody much was around.
While most babies died,
young Mordred survived.
Even Merlin knew not he’d been found.

(Here endeth ye first 𝕭ooke, as befits, on ye cliffhanger. 𝕭ooke 2 tells ye story of Sir Balin and the Dolerous Stroke.)
 

                                   12 June 2024