(In which eleven Kings refuse to swear fealty to the young Arthur in spite of the fact that only he could pull the sword from the stone, just because he didn’t have a proper beard. What is it with some men and the size of their … beards? But with “a little help from his friends”, Arthur “Beatles” them into submission after much blood is shed. Warfare 101)
 
The battles in “Le Morte d’Arthur”
tend to ramble, so I would much rather
summarise them instead
so we all get to bed,
lest in ten pages we barely get farther.

You would think that by pulling the sword
from the stone, all the kings would be awed.
But Urien and Lot,
part of Wales, most of Scot-
-land denied Art could e’er be their Lord.

“With great power comes great responsibilty”,
steals your author, aware the futility
of trying to scan
words from Spider-Man
in the hope Marvel like his ability.

I digress - but the quote seemed appropriate
for those disgruntled knights seemed to procreate.
So I must make a list
that no bad guys get missed
in the tale of the feast where they turned up late.

To that meet at Caerleon came King Lot
of Lothian and Orkney. From Garlot
came another, King Nentres
Thinking he was the centre
of attention. It was clear he was not.

The young king of Scotland brought his knights too,
and the King of a Hundred, he would add a few.
The King of Carados,
being not at a loss,
had arrived with five hundred and two.

King Arthur was was glad of their coming,
in spite of the sound of their drumming.
It seemed over the top,
and he wished it would stop,
so he told them it wasn’t becoming.

These Kings returned Art’s invitations
with foul words and most dire imprecations.
They threatened to cut off
his head, he could piss off
or they’d call in the United Nations.

After that, things devolved rather messily,
full of sieges and battles, necessarily
all written by Thomas,
Sir Mallory, of course,
whose example I’ll follow NOT, verily.

For the details of fighting, please look
up Tom’s story in a library book.
My summary is thin,
it begins with Merlin
and the battle in which all partook.

He enlisted King Ban and King Bors,
to help in the battle, a cause
they were glad to assist,
for the thing that they missed
was the killing and slaughter in wars.

In the end, rebel kings and their hosts
were defeated, with many now ghosts.
The rest were sent packing
with Saracens whacking
their own lands, whilst winners raised toasts.

I have told in eleven short verses
a tale Sir Mallory traverses
in chapters the equal
in numbers, a sequel
Is a great way to fill up your purses.


                                   10 June 2024